YYYFriday, December 01, 2006
Psalm 23The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.I think I have become a lot braver!
I have been doing a lot of brave things recently, like reading all the mail in my inbox. This may seem silly to you, but I really do have a fear of reading some emails which I think may be not-so-nice or something. Last time especially, in sec 3, when I had a lot of angry emails chasing me for work and stuff like that I would spend ages agonising over opening my mail. Many times I would open the email days after receiving it. The silly thing was that very often the mail was very harmless. However, because I had opened it so late I would have missed an easy-to-meet deadline or something, and I would have to clean up the mess after that. I always thought to much about such things la.
Now I have learnt that all these are unimportant. If people are nasty, or I get a scolding or whatever, so be it. What is most important is how God judges me, not other people. As long as my conscience is clear, whom shall I fear?
I have also become a lot less self-conscious too.
Really, I have found that once I fix my eyes on God, everything fades in importance. And this reliance on Him also gives me strength and courage to deal with anything that may come my way. I can feel Him there, right beside me.
During our last class prayer meeting together, we reflected on what this year was like. I said that it was so amazing, how I managed to get through this year. There was so many things I was involved in and so many things I had to do. I know that I certainly could not have made it through without God's grace and help. But I can't help but think that the journey would have been so much easier, if only I had made a conscious effort to rely on Him. Instead, I tried to do it all by myself. This only made me tired and weary. Sometimes, all we need is to remove ourselves from the situation, take a step back, and commit ourselves to the Lord. We will immediately find that everything becomes a lot better.
I must learn how to say, "Not my will, but Your will be done", and mean it.
Ah I am sorry if this post is incoherent. My brother and sister are playing very noisy computer games, so I can't really concentrate. Tomorrow is Dr. Slatter's wedding! I am very excited! This is the first proper church wedding I have ever been to. Haha what a year of firsts. This year was the first time I had ever been to a funeral before. Such beautiful celebrations of new beginnings and new lives :D
Note to self! Read Lionel Shriver's We Need To Talk About Kevin, and upload from chalets and prom.
8:57 PM
